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En 2005, 12 seminaristas desaparecieron en un retiro — en 2025 hallaron el diario de uno

  In his office, on the walnut wood desk inherited from his predecessor, rested an object that had disturbed his faith and his reason, a diary with worn leather covers and yellowed pages that exhaled the damp aroma of two buried decades.  The letters written in faded blue ink belonged to Eduardo Ramírez, one of the 12 seminarians who had mysteriously disappeared during the Lenten retreat in March 2005.

 A bricklayer had found him while renovating the foundations of the abandoned chapel on San Miguel hill, 30 km from the city.  Wrapped in plastic and buried in a metal box, the diary had withstood the test of time as a silent testimony to a truth that many preferred to bury, along with the memory of those young people who had disappeared without any explanation.

  Father Miguel closed his eyes and whispered a prayer.  She knew that opening that diary would change her world forever.  Eduardo Ramírez had arrived at the San José seminary in the fall of 2003. A 20-year-old with bright eyes, who had found his vocation in the silent corridors of faith.  The son of a mechanic from Atlixo and a rural teacher, Eduardo possessed that genuine humility that only comes from homes where every peso is earned by the sweat of one’s brow.

  His classmates remembered him as a diligent student, always the first to arrive at matins and the last to leave the library.  He had an easy smile and a hand always extended to help those who struggled with Latin or atomist philosophy.  Eduardo was one of those people who make you believe in human goodness, recalled Father Antonio Vega, who had been his spiritual director.

But in the initial pages of the diary, Father Miguel discovered a different Eduardo, a young man who had begun to question not only his vocation, but the very structures of the institution he had chosen as his spiritual home.  February 15, 2005. Something is not right here.  Father Sebastian arrived very late last night.

  He smelled of alcohol and had men with him that we didn’t know.  They spoke in hushed tones in his office until very late.  Some of us heard screams, but when we asked in the morning we were told that we had dreamed it.  Father Sebastian Montenegro had been the director of the seminary since 1998. Tall, of robust build and with a perfectly trimmed gray beard.

  He possessed that natural authority that inspires both respect and fear.  She came from a well-to-do family in Mexico City.  He had studied in Rome and spoke four languages.  For the inhabitants of Tehuacán, he represented everything a man of God should be: cultured, disciplined, and seemingly irreproachable.  However, Eduardo’s notes painted a very different picture of the respected priest.

  Descriptions of nighttime meetings.  of strange visitors arriving in luxury vans, of money circulating inexplicably, and of an imposed silence that had become heavier than the ancient stones of the building.  On March 3, 2005, Pablo confessed to me that he saw Father Sebastian counting bundles of banknotes in the sacristy.

  When I asked him where all that money came from, he told me not to ask stupid questions, but I can’t stop asking them. How is it possible that a seminary that always complains about a lack of resources suddenly has money to renovate the roof, buy new books, and even a car for the head priest?  The other seminarians began to appear in the pages as characters in a tragedy that was slowly brewing.

Pablo Mendoza, the closest to Eduardo, came from a peasant family in Huauchinango.  He was 19 years old and had a habit of biting his nails when he was nervous.  Marco Antonio Silva, 21, had arrived from Cholula after dropping out of an engineering career.  The Gutiérrez brothers, 23-year-old twins from Chicotepec, who had entered together and seemed to communicate without words.

Each name in the diary represented a life cut short, a family that for 20 years had lived with the torture of not knowing what had happened to their children.  Father Miguel remembered perfectly the days following the disappearance.  The mothers who cried in the pews of the chapel, the fathers who searched every hill and every ravine in search of a sign, the authorities who promised answers that never came.

The truth, as the diary revealed, was far more complex and sinister than anyone had imagined.  Father Miguel felt his hands tremble slightly as he turned the pages of the diary.  Each word written by Eduardo was like a stone thrown into the tranquil pool of his faith, creating ripples that extended to the deepest corners of his soul.  March 8, 2005. I can’t sleep.

Last night I heard trucks arriving very late.  From my window I saw men unloading heavy boxes.  I recognized some of them.  They are the same ones who come to Father Sebastian’s meetings.  One of them had a gun on his belt. What kind of business can a seminar with armed men have? Eduardo’s handwriting had become more nervous, his letters less neat.

Father Miguel could imagine the young seminarian writing by candlelight, his heart racing and his mind full of questions he didn’t dare ask aloud.  During 40 years of ministry, Miguel had believed he knew all the secrets that the walls of a religious institution could hold .  She had dealt with crises of faith, with money problems, even with minor scandals that had required discretion and a firm hand, but she had never imagined that under the roof of the place she considered her second home something so dark could be brewing.  His own memories of 2005

began to take on a different hue.   She remembered noticing changes in Father Sebastian’s behavior: late arrivals, closed-door meetings , and a level of attention she hadn’t been able to interpret.  So, as deputy director, Miguel had attributed these changes to the stress of managing an institution in constant financial difficulty.

  March 12, 2005. Pablo is scared.  He says that Father Sebastian called him into his office and asked him strange questions about what we had seen and heard.  He told him that good seminarians know when to speak and when to be silent, and that those who do not learn this lesson are not destined for the priesthood.

  Pablo asked me to burn this diary, but I can’t. If something happens to us, someone has to know the truth.  The Lenten retreat had been a tradition at the seminary for over 50 years.  Every March, the seminarians traveled to the small chapel of St. Michael, built in 1892 on a hill overlooking the valley.   It was a place of silence and reflection, where young people spent a week in prayer and meditation, preparing themselves spiritually for Easter.

  Father Miguel remembered being ill that week in March 2005. A bad case of the flu had kept him in bed, so he hadn’t been able to accompany the group as usual.  Father Sebastian had insisted that she not worry, that he would personally take care of the retreat.  March 14, 2005. Tomorrow we leave for the retreat. Father Sebastian has told us that it will be special, different from the previous ones.

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